Men Are Not Mysterious. When we are ready to fall in love, our emotions are much like women. We feel excited at the prospect of new love, nervous if she doesn’t call back right away, sad when we lose a girl we care for, and filled with gratitude and emotion when we’ve finally find the woman of our dreams.
Here are 12 things men(won't tell you) they need before they'll commit:
1. Don’t be Available All The Time. One way to get a man's attention is to do LESS, not more. Does "hard to get" increase the intensity? You bet it does. For example, many of us have an old flame who stays in our minds. One reason that person stays in our minds is because we don't HAVE that person.
They're extremely HARD TO GET. That affects how much you THINK about them and want them. It intensifies the intensity. And falling in love is all about intensity.
While you don't want to come off as an inauthentic game-player, the hard truth is that uncertainty can increase the level of attraction. In an article published in Psychology Today, New Mexico State University researcher Peter Jonason calls this "sexual economics" and explains that we are hard-wired to want what we think we can't have. Playing hard to get gives you what Johanson called a "lower availability," which automatically increases the level of demand. Disclaimer: Don’t Play Games: Don't invent reasons not to see a new man, however. Be authentically non-clingy instead.
2. Call Out Bull****. He Needs To Feel Challenged. At the core of every man is challenge. Men grow through challenge. Challenge speaks to the part of our masculinity that innately makes us want to conquer and win. Challenge is the path men take to attain success, which ultimately makes them feel respected.
In a nutshell, it really comes down to having a strong sense of your own values—knowing what is important to you and standing by it. This creates the challenge that strengthens the relationship.
Another element of this challenge is being able to confront a man when you feel like those values are compromised. This may require you confronting him when you think he owes you an apology, rather than letting it fall by the wayside, harbor emotions that can transform into resentment. Besides, you have to be able to speak your emotions to him. Men are not mind readers. Speak up or risk pushing him away all together.
When you can confront him, he'll find you attractive. Even if his first reaction is anger, the fact that you can stand up to him will change the way he looks at you. It may challenge him to be a better man.
3. Be the Woman We Feels Emotionally Safe With. This means you offer an open mind and a compassionate ear. You’re there to love, not judge. In your presence, he feels alive, powerful and accepted. The third thing to keep in mind when learning how to keep your man happy is his emotional health. By surrendering your anger, bitterness, or any resentment you have toward him, you give him safe passage to be vulnerable.
This happens through you trusting him. And, then, he can trust you. You both allow yourself to be vulnerable and that helps a relationship work. But, for this vulnerability to take off, women typically must be the initiators. Men are looking for someone to lead them into the vulnerable abyss. It is a woman's courage to open up and let down their guard that inspires men to lay down their psychological shields and relax.
He has to know that you won't judge or criticize him. He needs to feel supported, accepted, and encouraged that you are on his side. He needs to know that you won't tell your friends or (worse) your mother about any mistakes he makes. He needs to know that you'll stand up for him when others say bad things about him. He needs to know that you'll confront any injustices or problems head on.
That was a little heavy, I know. Though sometimes, a woman knows the way she came across WAS NOT the way she really wanted - and was not the true, confident HER. Here’s are more ways to decide right away that you’re going to be your real, authentic and make this MAN Yours!
4. Equally As Receptive As You Are Giving. Women are very good at giving, but they’ve lost the art of receiving along the way. If you’re not good at receiving compliments, affection, love and attention, work on this. Make room for him to be giving. It’s how a man feels his worth when he’s with you.
5. Take Care Of Your Body. When anyone don't take good care of our bodies, it tells others that they don't think they're worth taking care of or loving. Women go by what they heard. Men go by what they see. Let’s keep it real, men are visual creatures. To help show him that you think you're worthwhile, take good care of your body. Eat a healthy diet, join a gym class, exercise to keep your body strong, sexy, and in good condition. Be your best self by taking care of your body.
6. Be Confident In Yourself, Not Desperate. Ask your close friends — the ones who will be honest — whether you come across as confident or as desperate around guys. The first is attractive; the second a turn-off. Act confident, confidence is sexy to just about anyone. You don't have to actually be confident, but make him think that you are. Act confident by standing up straight, looking him in the eye, and occasionally taking control in situations (deciding what to do on a date, etc).
7. Help Him Feel Free. A lot of the time, guys are reluctant to date because they worry that they'll lose their freedom or their identity because this is something that our society tends to teach. Show him he doesn't have to worry about that with you by helping him to feel free. Encourage and help him to pursue his dreams, help him set up fun activities with his friends, don't hog his free time, etc. He needs freedom. Accepting and even embracing who he is allows us to let go and him to have autonomy.
8. Have A Life! Men do like a bit of a chase, and reality land is both parties need to have their own interests and not totally rely on the other to be there at every minute. To exude confidence and maintain a worthy guy's interest, you need to have interests in your life besides romance. Focus on doing an outstanding job at work, learning a new hobby or meeting new people and you'll have much more to say when you get together with your guy.
Don't be that girl who's always keeping tabs on her man and not allowing him to hang out with his friends. Don't be attached to his hip. That way, it will give a man an opportunity to miss you. Not to mention that his friends will love you for it.
9. Stay Away From Drama. One real turn off for guys is the drama queen. You know the girl who constantly gossips, starts arguments and fights with other people, and generally complains and looks for flaws in everything? Don't be that. Stay away from drama and definitely try to minimize the drama that he's exposed to. Having an actual problem that he can help with is one thing, picking a fight with him about something petty is another thing altogether.
10. Be Fun On Dates & Actually Have Fun! For goodness sake, after the 11th date, he isn’t there to amuse or entertain you. You are on this journey called a date together. If you like him, touch him, hug him, kiss him, and flirt with him. Become the Great Date queen. This is an important part of dating and really sets you apart from the other people in his life. Sometimes, don't be afraid to be the one planning dates: he'll be a little turned on that you're taking charge.
11. Don’t Ask What’s The Score, Know The Score. Most men are into sports. Are you a sports fan? If not, familiarize yourself a tad with his favorite team or sport so you can contribute to the conversation when he starts talking balls and games. No, you won't be changing who you are by just knowing a thing or two –I’m not telling you to lie and pretend you know everything about baseball. Just have something to say about it. He'll be ultra-impressed.
12. Maintain Your Fabulous Self. Do you ever see those women (hoping you're not one of them) who, when they fall in love or meet a man, lose themselves? They forget who they are, stop engaging in hobbies, they stop going to the gym, let go of their social lives. It's sad really. Just because you've found a man, doesn't mean you should lose yourself. Maintain your life and all of the great things you were doing when he met you. Odds are, that's what attracted him in the first place. Don't lose yourself.
In conclusion, a man’s heart, when open and ready, is truly beautiful, and easy to touch when you know and are being yourself. Your truth and emotional availability are what will truly win a man’s heart.
A man's feelings begin in the heart of his mind not the heart in his chest.
"They" say the way to a man's heart is through is stomach. THEY are rarely right and THEY are wrong about this one too. The way to a man's heart is through his head. If a woman wants a man to value, desire, and or adore her, she has to get him to think about her. In order to capture a man’s heart, you have to get into the heart of his mind. The more you get him to think about you the deeper his feelings will become for you. Once you get into the heart of his mind, you will never have to worry about him sharing his body with another woman.
The heart of the man is his "spirit", the real him, his inner nature or inner being. His spirit is the source from which his character and qualities are derived and the place wherein he communicates with GOD. The spirit of a man is his sanctuary. This is where a woman ultimately wants to be.